A bad breakup

These past three months have not been easy, there were a lot of goodbyes, and a lot of things happened that I couldn’t believe had happened, good and bad ones, but who are we to define what’s good and what’s bad? 

Goodbyes are never really goodbyes, and endings can always mean new beginnings. And a breakup doesn’t mean you or the other person isn’t enough, life is unfair, and I believe it has its own beauty in it. Just like I believe in feminism, and at the same time, females and males are essentially different, which is a very wonderful thing, so as every individual, okay let’s not get into that now.

Most of the time, prob 120% of it, I believe everything happens for a reason. And I do also believe the one, like in the book “You only fall in love three times” has mentioned, you prob already knew this person but you weren’t ready, and when you are, one day, when both of you, are ready, nothing would stop that love.

I’m parting this relationship, knowing I need to be ready, not for anyone, for myself, for all the things I’ve ever cared about, and for everything I love about life.

As sad as it may seems, and besides crying myself to sleep, feeling this is the end of the world, let’s not forget how breakups also teach us, I always come back stronger, always know more about myself, and always look back on everything with a smile, even tearfully.

I love how they teach me how to love myself better, and the feelings… like it was just yesterday. I will always remember how they make me feel - hopeful, smart, and prob the sexiest in some way. That butterflies before every date, the curiosity about always wanting to learn more about each other, and the surprises we found out about each other as we do. Confident, content about days in life, the little things, the routines, knowing that I have the potential to make someone happy in every way they’ve been looking for…. Accepted, when they call my name, knowing that I’m admitted in their hearts, despite anything, my past and where I am from. And how brave, that I’d do anything, things like “I’ve never done this!”, creating new experiences, making them unique in their own way, to maintain that excitement, only because I know that it could be home. Loved, alive, liberal, regardless of any distance and cultural barrier. Secure, enough to be willing to take the risk, to not hold back at all.

Okay now, moving on could be really hard, although I don’t think I can come up with a how to move on post, it just doesn’t have to be hard. Cheers to the past 17 years.